This blog has been established by the Guidance Department of Portland Middle School in Portland, TN. It is our hope that this avenue of communication will create a dialogue that will help our faculty better meet the needs of our students. Parents, teachers, students, and any stake-holder in our middle school are welcome to respond to this blog.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Parenting Issues
As the parent(s) of a middle schooler, what struggles do you face with your teen and or pre-teen?
2 comments:
Anonymous
said...
I find that my pre-teen son, won't talk about things that bother him. I can sense when he has had a bad day at school, and I do ask questions. I worry that he is either being 'picked on' or something else. He is an 'A' student, so I know he doesn't have academic issues, but I do worry that he has some social issues.
If you constantly prod teens they may be unwilling to go to you because they want to be independent and figure things out for themselves. This is a good thing as it helps them grow and mature. So, in light of this quest for maturity, make it THEIR decision to speak to you. They will seek your advice if they know you will listen. Sometimes it’s good to sit somewhere and make yourself available. This will allow them to take the initiative to speak to you about their day and what may or may not be troubling them. If you are concerned, tell them and leave it at that until you feel the need to intervene more aggressively. Never silence your parental instincts.
“If you chase a butterfly it will forever be allusive, but if you sit quietly, it may alight upon you.” -Chinese Proverb
Furthermore, look at your questioning tactics. Do you often say, “How was your day? Did anything happen? Do you have homework?” This machine gun style of questioning can often overwhelm teens causing them to say nothing. Instead, ask a question and wait for a response. When it seems they have nothing left to say, ask another and so forth. You might also consider avoiding yes/no questions. Instead, ask open-ended questions like, “what did you learn in English class?” You still might not get much out of them, but you will hopefully get more than a yes, no, or a shrug.
Mr. Sadler is the blog administrator and one of the counselors at Portland Middle. He is an alumnus of Freed-Hardeman University and Western Kentucky University (WKU). He has a graduate degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. Mr. Sadler is also working towards his license as a professional counselor.
Mrs. Lea has an undergraduate degree from the University of Southern Mississippi in Pre-Professional Psychology. She earned two graduate degrees from Western Kentucky University in Marriage and Family Therapy and in School Counseling. Mrs. Lea has ten years experience in counseling with fifteen years experience in teaching, ten of which are at the college level.
Through classroom guidance, individual counseling, group sessions, and other programs we offer a comprehensive guidance program for all 920 middle school students.
2 comments:
I find that my pre-teen son, won't talk about things that bother him. I can sense when he has had a bad day at school, and I do ask questions. I worry that he is either being 'picked on' or something else. He is an 'A' student, so I know he doesn't have academic issues, but I do worry that he has some social issues.
If you constantly prod teens they may be unwilling to go to you because they want to be independent and figure things out for themselves. This is a good thing as it helps them grow and mature. So, in light of this quest for maturity, make it THEIR decision to speak to you. They will seek your advice if they know you will listen. Sometimes it’s good to sit somewhere and make yourself available. This will allow them to take the initiative to speak to you about their day and what may or may not be troubling them. If you are concerned, tell them and leave it at that until you feel the need to intervene more aggressively. Never silence your parental instincts.
“If you chase a butterfly it will forever be allusive, but if you sit quietly, it may alight upon you.” -Chinese Proverb
Furthermore, look at your questioning tactics. Do you often say, “How was your day? Did anything happen? Do you have homework?” This machine gun style of questioning can often overwhelm teens causing them to say nothing. Instead, ask a question and wait for a response. When it seems they have nothing left to say, ask another and so forth. You might also consider avoiding yes/no questions. Instead, ask open-ended questions like, “what did you learn in English class?” You still might not get much out of them, but you will hopefully get more than a yes, no, or a shrug.
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